The Real Santa Fe
Introducing The Real Santa Fe Podcast— (formerly I Love New Mexico) a fresh take focused on the stories, voices, and vibrant community of Santa Fe. Expect the same warmth, spirit, and deep appreciation for New Mexico, now told through the lens of the people who live, work, and create in The City Different. Hosted by Bunny Terry.
The Real Santa Fe
The Greatest Gift: Finding Community and Support in Difficult Times - Bunny Terry
In this heartfelt episode of the "I Love New Mexico" podcast, host Bunny Terry shares a deeply personal story from their book, "Life Saving Gratitude." Reflecting on her first holiday season after a stage IV colon cancer diagnosis. Bunny emphasizes themes of gratitude, community, and the joy of life despite adversity. She recounts her birthday on December 8th 2012, celebrated with friends and family amidst chemotherapy treatments. The episode highlights the beauty of Christmas in Santa Fe, the support from loved ones, and the importance of giving during the holidays, encouraging listeners to find gratitude in their own lives.
Original Music by: Kene Terry
Bunny 00:00:00 Hi there and welcome to the I Love New Mexico podcast. one of the things that I had planned to do today, because we're in December and we're close to the holiday season, was record a list of things that you could do in New Mexico over the next 2 or 3 weeks before the end of December. And I thought about, you know, the River of Lights in Albuquerque. And I thought about Christmas on the Pecos down in Carlsbad. And I thought about the little walk at Canyon Road. And then I realized that you everybody out there can Google Christmas in New Mexico and find a list of activities that will be fun and different from anything you've ever done before, especially if you're not from here and you've never spent the holidays in New Mexico. I thought instead I would give you a gift. At least it was a gift to me. And as we get close, closer and closer to Christmas and other holidays that are important to people around the world. What we know, what I've learned in this lifetime, is that giving of yourself is one of the most, one of the best gifts that you can give yourself.
Bunny 00:01:21 And I want to read you, a little bit from the book that I wrote, Life Saving Gratitude, and how that first holiday season, after I was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer, could have been the most harrowing season of my life as as one might expect. I mean, I had just gotten a devastating diagnosis. I was only 51 years old. My daughter was coming, going to spend her last semester of college at home taking care of me, and instead it became the season when I learned how to ask for help, and when I learned how big and generous the hearts of people who cared about me were. So. I'm going to read at least chapter 20 of my book on the podcast today, and I. I'm reading this the day after my birthday. I wrote this on my birthday in 2012, which was followed quite closely on the heels of my diagnosis. So here we go. Chapter 20 of Life Saving Gratitude. How gratitude? Okay, so this is the original, tagline how gratitude helped me kick stage for cancer's ass.
Bunny 00:02:52 I had to change that because you can't advertise a book on Amazon that has a what they deem a curse word in it. But this is the book. This is chapter 20. By the way, if you want to grab a copy of the book, we have a there's a link to my website where you can order it. There's also a link to, Amazon where you can order it. This chapter 20 is Happy Birthday to me. My birthday is December 8th, which will be exactly 30 days after I went to the ER with a stitch in my side when I didn't have cancer. Courtney, Amy and Angie, my girls friends from Logan, made a plan to spend my birthday weekend with me so that we could go dancing at the cowgirl and have margaritas at Del Charro and a spa treatment or two. It was a vague plan that sounded like a perfect birthday weekend for a 52 year old and her friends instead. My birthday is three days after my first chemo treatment. The day the orientation nurse said would be my worst day.
Bunny 00:04:01 You'll be exhausted, she said. The steroids will have worn off and your body will feel like you've deflated. I'm pretty sure dancing at the cowgirl and drinks at Del Charro aren't on the list of smart things to do, given the circumstances. I talked to my cousin TJ every single day more than anyone else. He extracted a promise that I'd always answer when he called Robyn. And I want to hear from you and know how you're doing, he said with a catch in his voice. So I call him every day, sometimes twice. If I don't call him, he calls me because he is not only my cousin, but my business partner. We frequently start with a conversation about real estate. It gives us a way to pretend that the calls are necessary for the business, rather than because I need to unload on someone who's not Johanna or Zach or my parents. On Thursday, when I'm on the pump, he asked me what I'm doing for my birthday. Resting, I guess. I say, maybe Johanna will go to storage and get the Christmas tree.
Bunny 00:05:03 I'm already tired thinking about Christmas. The chemo has given me a headache that won't go away. What if Robert and I come up and help with the Christmas tree and take you to dinner for your birthday? TJ says, and I know he wants to see me and reassure himself that I'm still standing. Can you get us one of Wendy's two casitas houses? I'm relieved. I am so exhausted with trying to hold the idea of Christmas in my head. With the list of events and gifts to be purchased ordered, I think because I never want to leave this couch and decorations be hauled out and put up. Anyone in this situation might forgo decorating, but even if I'm sick, I'm stubborn. This is my first Christmas in Santa Fe. Johanna is here and we will. Damn it, celebrate! But T.J. and Rob know me better than anyone else right now. They're offering to do this is the answer I didn't know I wanted. Adding their son Taylor to the mix is even better. He and Johanna are the same age cousins who graduated from high school together, and he will.
Bunny 00:06:12 He will make her feel more normal in this week of incredible weirdness. I call Wendy at two Casitas and ask for a house. She is, as always, helpful without being intrusive. I've learned the difference when I say what I need. Some people say, great, let me handle that for you. Others want to get in the middle of what's happening with me personally, asking for details if I have any surprise reaction to cancer and its attendant conditions. It is that I am sick to death of talking, talking, talking about the cancer and about myself. I've always liked to talk. I hate talking about cancer. Wendy and I have an understanding. I write blogs about Santa Fe and her properties, and in return, she gives me a weekend each month in one of the homes she manages. It's a barter system that helped me decide to move here Back in January, when I was wallowing in self-pity because I had just been ugly, dumped by last boyfriend. She approached me with this proposal. It's a gift to both of us.
Bunny 00:07:18 My blogs help her business and online presence. Her weekend stays help me fall in love all over again with the city. And now Wendy doesn't ask me to talk about how I'm doing. She simply says, I've got a great house where they can stay. I hope you're having an okay day. Her kindness makes me cry. I thank her and say that yeah, that is not terrible. And she gives me the address and the code to get in the door. Johanna drives me to the end. Quotes. Casita end quotes. Wendy gives us for the weekend. It's not a casita, however. It's a luxurious house on a hill just above Canyon Road with three Kiva fireplaces and views of both the Jemez Mountains and the Sagrada Cristos. It's the most beautiful two casitas property I've ever seen. I want to build a fire in one of the fireplaces and stay here for the night. Instead, I leave the porch light on and turn up the heat. I'm grateful to Wendy for taking such good care of us.
Bunny 00:08:15 My trade of writing content for her website, in exchange for homes to stay in, has turned into one of the best business deals I've ever made. Then it's Saturday morning and my birthday. TJ, Robin and Taylor arrived in Santa Fe after midnight last night and texted us at 10:00 this morning. Breakfast at Taco. This is what the text says and I am happy to hear from them. I woke up feeling almost spry compared to the last three days. I'm off the pump. I don't spill chemo. I didn't spill chemo on myself. I didn't throw up once. I still have my hair. It is early days but I feel close to human. Yes, I text back. They come by and pick us up in their bright red red Dodge pickup and life immediately improves. Here we are with our best pals who are also family. The sun is shining and Johanna and I are getting out of the house and away from just each other. We need this respite from our daily life. It feels joyful after Hugo webOS Zacatecas that I mostly don't eat, pushing the plantains around the plate in an attempt to make it look like I'm wolfing it down.
Bunny 00:09:24 We go to the storage unit for the decorations. Every trip down serious road with TJ is an adventure. He's like me, always on the lookout for something new and interesting and fun. We should have been siblings instead of cousins. Back when I determined that I was going to starve myself financially if I stayed in Logan and tried to continue running my coffee shop, I called TJ. I have an idea, I told him, and proceeded to relay my plans for starting a new real estate business, and I knew how things would happen with his energy and common sense and street street smarts, but mostly his ambition. We would we would both serve the business well. He would not allow us to fail. Watching TJ, Taylor and Johanna load the boxes of decorations into the back of the cup makes me feel comforted and happy in a way that I haven't been in the last couple of weeks. Now things will be taken care of and I won't have to think about Johanna being short changed out of Christmas this year.
Bunny 00:10:25 It's threatening snow in that crazy Santa Fe way. The sun is shining, but the air is crisp and the Sangre de Cristo are obscured by clouds. We spend the day putting up the 1960s aluminum tree I ordered from eBay years ago, hanging Garland from the white picket fence outside and wrapping Holly around the portal post. Or whether they work and I watch. Sometimes I lie down on the red coat couch with a book and think about how good my life is. Mostly. Today is my birthday. I am 52 years old. I have stage four cancer. This is freaking crazy. The snow starts just as the sun is going down. We are going to go to La Casa Santa for dinner to celebrate my birthday. I know exactly what I'll order. The flank steak with the side dish, a roasted green Chile stuffed with mashed potatoes and covered with cheese. I swear I will eat all of it. It is one of my favorite dishes in the world, and they need to eat as much red meat as possible.
Bunny 00:11:23 I take an iron pill every day now, but my hemoglobin, my hemoglobin, remains precariously low. I swear I will eat every bite. It is my birthday. After dinner, I know we'll walk to the plaza where every tree is hung with different colored lights. I love Christmas in Santa Fe. This is one of the reasons I moved here. It's nothing short of magical. Too bad I have cancer for my first Christmas here, but I still get to be here for my birthday and for the holiday. I still get to walk the plaza under those lit trees, and my best friends and families will do it with me. I guess I've dozed off on the red couch because the side door opens and cold door rushes. Cold air rushes in. TJ comes in and gets me off the couch. Come see what we've done, he says. I stumble into my coat and boots and follow him outside. I'm sorry, I can. I don't think I can read this without crying because it is such an amazing moment to remember still.
Bunny 00:12:33 It's dusk, that very first dark of early evening. Snow is falling softly as he leads me out to the street in front of my Adobe house. Taylor, Robin and Johanna stand in the street waiting on me and I turn to look at the house. They've strung lights along the lip of the roof of the portal and round them around the support columns. They've hung them on the picket fence, and there's Garland in great strands in green strands around the fence as well. There's a green wreath with a bow on the front door. I see Johanna's little Christmas tree lit up through a bedroom window. Through a window in her bedroom. I begin to cry and Robin is crying with me. This is exactly the birthday I wanted and needed right this minute. My house is beautiful. Christmas is going to get here and I'm going to be okay. Before I go to sleep that night, I fill the red notebook with more than five things that I'm grateful for. Although in the past weeks I've only been able to write down two things, sometimes my five things are TJ and Rob, Johanna and Taylor.
Bunny 00:13:44 Christmas coming, my old aluminum tree, the snow dinner at La Casa Senna, the plaza being off the pump and feeling good. That. Is one of my favorite Christmas stories. Thank you for showing up and taking time to listen. Take care of their.